“Where Is Your Brother?"

True story: back in the late 1900s, every teenage girl knew what NKOTB meant. It stands for New Kids on the Block, the famous boy band who sang “Hangin’ Tough” and “Step by Step.”

It was Christmastime, and it should have been a time of giving, but I was acting more like the Grinch. My mom and I had picked out an NKOTB T-shirt to give my very close childhood friend Sarah for Christmas, but deep down, I wanted it. No way did I want to give her that amazing T-shirt. That’s where my heart was.

So I begrudgingly wrapped it up and gave it to her with my salty little attitude. When the gift exchange began, the next thing I knew, Sarah was handing me a wrapped present. I surely wasn’t expecting that. As I opened it, she watched me, all wide-eyed and giddy. To my surprise, it was the exact same T-shirt. The one I didn’t want to give Sarah, she had given to me! Talk about a lesson learned.

Jealousy is defined as a feeling of insecurity, fear, or resentment that someone else has something you want.Cain was the firstborn of Adam and Eve, and he worked the soil, growing plants. Abel was the second-born, and he worked in the fields, tending the flocks.

When Cain brought his offering to the Lord, God did not look on it with favor. But Abel brought fat portions from the firstborn of his flock, and the Lord looked on his offering with favor. How did Cain feel about that? The Bible says Cain was very angry and downcast. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”Cain didn’t master it. His jealousy overtook him.“Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Where is your brother Abel?’” (Genesis 4:3–7, 9).

After our most recent trip to Kenya in 2026, I kept coming back to one thought. The purpose of the trip had been to love on the kids at Naomi’s Village and Cornerstone, to visit with people, and to build relationships. But I found myself asking a harder question: how were we loving one another within our own team? Was I loving my teammates well?

Once we were home, I sat down with 1 Corinthians 13 and, for the first time, found myself in tears. I’ve heard it read at so many weddings, and we even have the words framed in our kitchen. But that day they came off the page. Suddenly they seemed to say everything, as if this were the whole point.

No matter how tremendous or spectacular the things you do are, if you do them without love, you have nothing. It doesn’t count. Love is defined by how it shows up in the way you live, through patience and kindness. But it is also defined by what it is not: “It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:4–6). The chapter ends with this: the greatest of these is love.

One thing I noticed about Kenyan culture is the kindness of everyone we met. They treated us with such love and such a warm welcome. They will call you their brother or sister, their auntie or uncle, or, if you are older like me, some will call you Mom. Even though we live on different continents, my boys have brothers and sisters in Kenya. There is mutual love and encouragement between us (Romans 1:12).

It’s all about relationships. God wants a relationship with us. We are His beloved, and out of that love, He gives us a relational ministry with one another. That is how we share our lives: walking in love and truth, and cheering one another on rather than comparing ourselves and competing in a spirit of jealousy.God’s question to Cain, “Where is your brother?” is a question worth asking ourselves. Do we see the people around us as rivals, or as the family God has given us to love?

Cain answered poorly, responding to God with a question of his own: “Am I my brother’s keeper?”Someone once asked Jesus which commandment is the greatest. Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37–40).

The disciple John, who called himself the one Jesus loved and kept loving, contrasts the way of Cain with the way of Christ. He writes, “This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous… Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer…” (1 John 3:11–15).

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:16). That is sacrificial love.

We don’t have to do it on our own. A friend reminded me the other day that God Himself is our keeper (Psalm 121). The One who calls us to be our brother’s keeper is the One who keeps us.So let us follow in the footsteps of our Lord and Savior as He calls us to love one another: to love our enemies, to love our brothers, and to love our sisters. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).