Trust God and Stop Looking for the "Third Thing"

The project is done, the assignment completed, the job finished. What next?

I cannot fully express how grateful I am for my husband and the wisdom he has shared with me over the years. He is always reading a wide variety of books because, as he often reminds us in our house, the brain is a muscle.

Somehow, he has a way of sharing the best little nuggets with me early in the morning, often rather quickly before he heads out the door for work. One morning, he shared something with me that I don’t want to forget. I have a feeling I’m not the only one who needs the reminder.

The book he was reading, Ryan Holiday’s Right Thing, Right Now, is based on Stoic philosophy. While not a Christian book, some of its ideas can be helpful when thinking about mindset, character, and living out that little word that can be so difficult to practice: self-control.

To be honest, when a project is finished, there can still be lingering doubts and questions. There may be plenty of encouragement, but sometimes when you find yourself looking for certain words of affirmation from certain people and instead hear crickets, that silence can test the mind and the heart.

The silence can leave you wondering, What do they think? Did they read it? If they did, would they say something?

Now, you may be thinking, How does this relate to me? But think about the last meal you made, the last project you worked on, a trip you planned, the house you cleaned, or something good you did for someone else. Really, it could be anything. When you find yourself looking for affirmation from a certain person and you may or may not get it, what do you do next? Where do your thoughts go?

As Wes began sharing with me that morning from Holiday’s book, I could see the warning.

Holiday tells the story of Dawn Dorland, also a writer, who did something truly incredible for someone else: she donated a kidney. But what followed became a complicated story involving acknowledgment, hurt, conflict, and eventually a lawsuit. What caught my attention was the very human desire underneath the story, the desire to be appreciated and acknowledged.

Don’t we all long for affirmation?

Holiday then connects this story to the wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, the ancient Roman philosopher, who would ask himself, "When you've done well and another has benefited by it, why like a fool do you look for a third thing on top - credit for the good deed or a favor in return?"

Think about that:

1. You've done something good for the good of others.

2. Has another benefited?

3. Stop looking for the third thing!

   
   

There is wisdom in understanding that nothing good comes from chasing down gratitude. If we are doing something for the thanks, how good is it anyway?

Instead, let’s focus on the good God has given us to do. Let the Holy Spirit lead us. Keep our eyes on Christ. Do the work for the glory of God our Father, and let go of the need for credit, recognition, and even gratitude. Be content. Be satisfied. Be confident in Christ.

Stop looking for the third thing.

We all need to hear this.

Holiday even points to Matthew 6 where Jesus, our true wisdom, says, "Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them."

I was also reading Job 28 recently, where the question is asked: Where is wisdom to be found? People can dig and mine and discover silver, gold, iron, and ore. Bread comes from the earth. Channels can be cut through rock. People search for precious things like sapphire, onyx, and gold. Yet wisdom cannot be bought.

So where can wisdom be found?

Job eventually gives us the answer: “Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.”

There is wisdom in understanding that nothing good comes from chasing down gratitude. If we are doing something for the thanks and applause, how good is it anyway?

Instead, let’s focus on the good we can do, letting the Holy Spirit lead us, keeping our eyes on Christ, and trusting that it will ultimately glorify God our Father. We can let go of the need for credit, recognition, and even gratitude.

Do the good.

Give the gift.

Lead the trip.

Serve the person.

Finish the work.

Let it go.

Trust God and stop looking for the third thing!