Real-Life Struggles & Scripture: For Teens

Most of the items on this list relate specifically to teenagers and we used it at a teen retreat, but anyone can use it. Go through the statements and see what stands out to you. This is a helpful tool for identifying your feelings and beginning the process of moving toward healing. I compiled these notes from Jacynthia Bailey and the In Touch Retreats she leads, along with insights from Daily Truth by The Daily Grace Co. May it be a blessing as it is shared.

• I get upset often (anger or sadness)

Anger can really take over and tear our relationships apart. From Jesus’ example, we see that anger can be righteous. But we are sinful humans, and if we are honest, most of the time our anger is not coming from a good place. A good question to ask yourself is this: Am I angry over what is happening to others for their sake, or am I angry over what is happening to me and what I want?

Psalm 37:8, Proverbs 15:18, Proverbs 16:32, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Luke 6:31, Ephesians 4:26-32, James 1:19-20

"Recognize that uncontrolled anger inflames emotions, exaggerates issues and hinders godly correction...it deals with people harshly. Loud, threatening talk can echo in a person's mind for a lifetime." - Alexander Strauch

(My husband, Wes, has an 31 Day Anger Devotional if you want to go deeper.)

• Trouble following directions

When we don’t understand what we are supposed to be doing or why, it can be very hard to obey without asking questions or doubting. But there is much joy to be found in obedience. That is what faith is: trusting even when you don’t see it or understand why. A song I grew up with says it well: “Trust and obey, for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

I Samuel 15:22, Psalm 9:10, Psalm 20:7, Psalm 40:4, Isaiah 26:3-4, Luke 11:28, John 14:21

"Our Lord told His disciples that love and obedience were organically united. The final test of love is obedience." - A.W. Tozer

• Relationship with my parents

What kind of relationship would you like to have with your parents? Rather than focusing on their faults, pause to consider what the Lord says about giving honor and respect, and about showing the love of Christ to those in your family. We are all broken people in need of a Savior. Take your thoughts, struggles, and concerns to the Lord first. Try making a gratitude list of things you see in your parents that you can give thanks for, and then, with humility and respect, talk with them about what is weighing on your heart. (There are different situations in life, and this does not apply to cases involving abuse or harm, where boundaries, safety, and wisdom are needed.)

Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:2, Philippians 2:3-4, Hebrews 12:11

"The gifts He bestows. This writing it down - it is sort of like...unwrapping love."

- Ann Voskamp

• Getting along with my siblings

Why is it so hard to get along? Maybe it’s because you feel bored, they did something to you first, or jealousy starts creeping in. But the deeper problem we all battle is self-centeredness, and our pride often gets in the way. Can you name, or even write out, what your thoughts are about your sibling? Now, how quickly can you change that negative thought? “We take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Whatever your thoughts are, that is how you will show up and treat that person. Ask yourself this: How would God want you to treat your brother or sister?

Proverbs 10:12, Proverbs 11:2, Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 16:5, Proverbs 19:11, Matthew 5:3, Romans 12:3

"Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!" - Psalm 133:1

• Feeling rejected/ unloved

Remember your identity in Christ and how deeply loved you are. When we look to others more than we look to Christ, or when we look at ourselves more than we look to Christ, we can be tempted to believe lies and rely on our feelings, convincing ourselves that we are unloved. Other people will let us down in certain ways, but there is One who will never fail. Take inventory of what is happening and of your thoughts once again. Take the challenge: how quickly can you replace the thoughts that are dragging you down?

Psalm18:19, Psalm 139, Zephaniah 3:17, John 3:16, John 15:13, Ephesians 3:17-19

"For every look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ." - Robert Murray M'Cheyne

• I don’t always feel like a good girl

What does it mean to be called a “good girl,” anyway? You don’t have to feel pressure if people call you a “good girl” when you know you aren’t good on your own, because God tells us in His Word that no one is good. However, if you find yourself not wanting to be seen as a “good girl,” what does that mean to you personally? Dig deeper. Ask God why, and search His Word for answers.

Matthew 19:16-22, Romans 3:10-25, Psalm 51, Luke 15:11-32

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.” - John Newton, from the hymn Amazing Grace

• I struggle with patience

God is very patient with us. That is simply who He is. We are not like Him, and we tend to want what we want, when we want it. Our thoughts can move very fast, and we often find ourselves in a hurry. In a hurry to grow up and achieve this or that. What if we reminded ourselves that we have plenty of time and there is no rush? Trust in the Lord, in His plans for your life, and in His love for you.

Psalm 25:5, Psalm 27:14, Psalm 130:5, Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 55:8-9,

Romans 8:25-28

"A Christian without patience is like a solider without arms." - Thomas Watson

• I feel anxious and worry a lot

Anxiety and worry lie to us and tell us we are in control. I once put a Post-it note on my desk to remind myself, “You are not in control of this.” Thankfully, the Lord is the One in control, and when we go to Him, He continues to sanctify us. We can take every worry and anxiety to Him. He cares for us and does not want to see us suffering in anxiety, fear, and worry.

Proverbs 3:5-7, Matthew 6:25-34, Matthew 11:28-30, Philippians 4:6-7 &19,

I Peter 5:7

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you...Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - Jesus (John 14:27)

• I struggle with comparison & jealousy

Jealousy is tied to contentment. When you begin looking around at what you desperately want or comparing yourself to others, you lose sight of what is true, of God, and of His perfect path for you. Try making a list and numbering your blessings. In doing so, you will attend to the steadfast love of the Lord.

Genesis 37, Psalm 37:4-7, Proverbs 14:30, Proverbs 28:25, Luke 12:15, Psalm 107:43

"Earth's crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God: But only he who sees takes off his shoes; The rest sit round it, and pluck blackberries." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

• I have a hard time forgiving others

Forgiveness is hard, but we must look to Jesus, who died on the cross to forgive us of our sins. Walking in unforgiveness only hurts us and causes bitterness and pain. He died so that we might live. What a beautiful truth to dwell on instead.

Psalm 86:5, Psalm 103:10-14, Joel 2:13, Matthew 18:21-22, Mark 11:25, Ephesians 4:32

"Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred."

- Corrie ten Boom

• I don’t know how to pray

Thankfully, we have a God who always hears us when we pray. Seek Him, and He will be found. You can call on the Lord at any time of the day or night; God never sleeps. One way that helps me focus on prayer (talking to God) is the simple acronym PRAY:

P - Praise

R - Repent

A - Ask

Y - Yield

Psalm 86:12, Psalm 121, Psalm 145:18, Jeremiah 29:12-13, Matthew 7:7, Jeremiah 33:3

"Prayer is how we cultivate friendship with Jesus." - John Mark Comer

• I have a hard time opening up to others

We see from the way Jesus lived on earth how He interacted with others in truth. He asked good questions, engaged everyone, and spoke with wisdom. If we are going to have a real relationship with God, we must talk to Him through prayer and also listen by reading His Word and being aware of His presence. Our relationships with others are similar. It is not much of a relationship if we are not opening up or listening. When we love others well, we share our lives with them honestly, with no hiding.

Colossians 4:6, Col. 3:9-10, Ephesians 4:15-25, Proverbs 25:11-12, Proverbs 16:23-24

"My faith in Christ can make a difference in others' lives if I allow it to be the ruling force in my life." - John Calvin

• I second guess myself and have a hard time making decisions

It is hard to make decisions when we second-guess ourselves, but God provides wisdom, not confusion. When we experience confusion and doubt, we can recognize that this often comes from our sinful flesh and our ever-present enemy. Satan loves for us to waste time second-guessing and becoming distracted, pulling us away from using our gifts for God’s Kingdom. Praise God that He is faithful to provide clarity and wisdom when we seek Him.

Psalm 25:4-5, Proverbs 1:7, James 1:5-8, Psalm 86:11, Colossians 2:6-7, Matthew 5:37

"Fear arises when we imagine that everything depends on us." - Elisabeth Elliot

• When I get overwhelmed I feel fearful, frantic and out of control

Fear tempts us to stop trusting God and believe that it is up to us to take control and figure everything out. When panic suddenly arises, ask God to show you the thoughts spinning around in your mind. Pray and call on His Name. Say it over and over, even out loud if it helps: “I trust in You, Lord. I trust in You, Lord. I trust in You, Lord.” Let that prayer turn you back to Him. Repent and believe.

Mark 4:35-41, Deuteronomy 3:22, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 27:1, Psalm 34:4-5, 2 Timothy1:7

"There is no fear in love, put perfect love casts out fear..." - 1 John 4:18

• I am struggling with bad habit                       

We all struggle, but at times we hate our sin more than others. This may be due to getting caught, feeling trapped, becoming sick, or facing unexpected consequences, among many other reasons. In Christ, we have been given the Holy Spirit to lead us, guide us, and convict us. When we fall, we turn to Jesus, and through the confession of our sins, both to God and to fellow believers, sin begins to lose its grip on us

Romans 7-8, Matthew 6:9-15, Romans 5:20-21, I Corinthians 10:13, 2 Corinthians 5:17-21

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Jesus (Matthew 6:33)

• I feel lonely at times

Satan loves to make us feel alone and then pour on self-pity. When we become overwhelmed by thoughts of loneliness, we can forget the friendship with the Lord that is always present, offering true peace, deep satisfaction, and real joy. Seek Him while He may be found. His grace is freely given.

Deuteronomy 31:8, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 16:8, Psalm 73:23-26, Psalm 120:1-2, Isaiah 41:10

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come to him and eat with him, and he with me." - Jesus (Revelation 3:19)