Dealing with Disappointments

Remember the days when everyone was doing online schooling in 2020. We had kids all over our house on their laptops . They had their Wordly Wise vocabulary books out. Trying to figure out what does this word mean? The interesting thing is we have thousands of words, but defining vocabulary forces you to pause and focus on the meaning of one.

The word disappointment is defined as a feeling of dissatisfaction because your expectations were not met. A synonym for disappointment is letdown. What disappoints you? We all know the feeling too well. No one wants to be a letdown to others, and no one wants to experience the feeling of being let down. My friend Ally and I love to joke, “Just lower your expectations, increase your joy!” Meaning that when our expectations are too high, we set ourselves up to be disappointed.

Sometimes when I read the Bible, it is hard to imagine the people in its pages as people with full, everyday lives. But they were. It is amazing to realize that Israel is a real place, not just a setting in a story. You can stand in the very spots where Jesus and His disciples lived, walked, taught, and shared meals. Being there brings the Scriptures to life and reminds you that these events happened in actual towns, on actual roads, with actual people.

Jesus is like us in that He is fully human and came as a human with all the temptations we face. Yet He is not like us in that He was born of a virgin and lived a perfect life without sin. I have heard it said that we should save the words always and never for Jesus. Jesus never lied or spoke a wrong word. Jesus never sinned in His anger. Jesus always had complete compassion. Jesus always forgave, and He calls us to forgive just as we have been forgiven of our sins.

When we forgive someone, we usually struggle to let go of the hurt. We feel let down by others, and disappointment lingers. The truth is that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We all desperately need His grace. The good news is that we have a friend in Jesus. He will never let us down, and even if things do not go the way we hoped, we can trust that He knows what is best for us.

Jesus Himself experienced disappointment. He was let down by close friends. If we look at the events of the night before Jesus was arrested and faced the cross, we see His human side and feel the pain of being let down. They were sharing the Passover meal, famously known as the Lord’s Supper, and Judas left early to betray Him. He handed Jesus over to those opposed to Him for thirty pieces of silver, which was not even much money. It was a pitiful moment for Judas. Instead of turning to Christ for forgiveness, he chose to take his own life only hours later. What we think we want does not always satisfy us.

About a third of the Bible is prophecy, things foretold or predicted. God knows the future, and that gives me confidence that I can trust Him with my life. One of those prophecies is fulfilled when Peter denied Jesus (Matthew 26:69-75). Jesus had told Peter earlier at the Passover meal, “I tell you the truth… this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times” (Matthew 26:34).

How does this prophecy unfold? The eleven disciples go with Jesus to Gethsemane to pray. Jesus needs to pray alone, but He also asks them to pray. “Keep watch with Me,” He says. When we are desperately overwhelmed, where do we go? Jesus was so deeply troubled that He said He was “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death” (Matthew 26:38). So He prayed.

If the Son of God prayed, that tells us how important prayer is and that we should be praying too. But were the disciples praying? Were they feeling His burden? No. They were tired, and “their spirit was willing, but the body was weak.” I know that feeling all too well.

As Jesus prayed, face to the ground among the olive trees, He asked for a way out, yet surrendered Himself to the Father’s will. Prayer is how we reach that place of surrender. Prayer is more powerful and more unseen than we can imagine. But Peter and the others were not awake in prayer. They were drowsy with sleep. It makes you wonder where the true battle was taking place.

Later, when Peter was in the courtyard warming himself by a fire, Jesus was left in the cold, interrogated, mocked, and abused, with His friends nowhere to be found. If that is what the Son of God experienced on this earth, then when we find ourselves disappointed in friendships, we are in good company with Jesus.

When Peter denied Jesus three times, just as Jesus predicted, that was a painful disappointment. I know I have let down the people I love, and I will again. It is our sin nature. Others will disappoint me too, and that is to be expected.

How are we to respond when we have disappointed others or sinned against them? I love Peter’s response. Peter responded with repentance and tears. The Bible says that immediately after he heard the rooster crow, Peter remembered Jesus. It was humbling for him, especially since he had boldly declared earlier, “Even if I have to die with You, I will never disown You” (Matthew 26:35). Yet, he denied knowing Jesus three times, one right after the other. And the rooster crowed.

I know that feeling of guilt, and you know it too, when you are in the wrong and have messed up. But here is the good news: there is a godly sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:9-10). In Peter’s sorrow, brought honestly before God, there was forgiveness, cleansing, and refreshment.

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshment may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19). There is no sweeter verse.

I feel like this is my testimony. As a child, I remember feeling the weight of sin. My heart felt like a dry erase board scribbled over with sin, messy marks from miserable mistakes, foolish failures, and selfish choices. Knowing that Jesus died not only to forgive me but to wipe it all clean, erasing every mark and offering times of refreshing, teaches me that repentance does not push me away from God. It brings me back to Him.

Nothing compares.

And if Jesus has forgiven me for all the times I have let Him down because of my sin, then how can I live in discouragement over disappointments with others? I know what Jesus did. He prayed, and He forgave.

We want things to happen the minute we ask. But good things take time. Anything of real value is a slow process. Look at a tree outside. Think about a gourmet meal being prepared. Reflect on the recovery needed after surgery. Watch a seed grow. Look at a teenager who was once a baby.

I want to become more patient in watching God work and to keep praying. Peter’s failure was forgiven, and God, by His grace and through the power of the Holy Spirit, used him to make an indelible mark on the world.

That is what only God can do.